Oreo Now Has Discreet Packaging So You Can Hide Your Oreos From Kids
Kids seem to have a superpower for finding all the goodies you've stashed in the back of the cupboard, so Oreo is helping you take things to the next level. They've just announced a new "Protection Program," designed to hide Oreo Thins from your family using camouflaged packaging. They still say "Oreo Thins" on the front, but the sides look different, so you can stack them wherever you'd want to hide them: The cupboard, the freezer, the closet, or in the car.
The spines make the Oreos look like: A cookbook . . . a package of frozen vegetables . . . a pack of t-shirts . . . and a car owner's manual. For now, they're only available through an online sweepstakes. The deadline is Friday.
The Top Ways to Respond to Annoying People Who Say, "Working Hard or Hardly Working?"
When someone asks, "Working hard or hardly working?" what's your response? If you don't have a good reply, we have some suggestions on this list of The Top Ways to Respond to Annoying People Who Say, "Working Hard or Hardly Working?" Like your mom and your sister, I've been doing both. You're the reason I pee in the break room coffee pot. Working very hard, actually . . . on ignoring you. I was about to ask the same regarding your penis. Yeah, I don't really have anything worthwhile to say to you, either. The only thing I'm working on is how to make your death look like an accident. Not sure I understand. Give me a moment to look that up in my cliché-to-English dictionary. I'm hardly working. And I still make twice your salary. There, glad you asked??? Comments like this are why you sit in a cubicle covered in action figures. Shut up, everybody hates you, and if they see me talking to you, they'll hate me too. Can I get back to you in a minute with my answer? I need time to put on gloves before I strangle you. If you're asking about job-related tasks, I'm hardly working. If you're asking about spreading the Delta variant, I'm working hard. Neither. I'm shrooming hard and hardly shrooming Here's a fun idea: Never talk to me again.
The Words Dogs Love the Most Include Walk, Food, and Fetch Does your dog have a favorite word? Chances are they DO . . . even if they don't know what a "word" is or why you insist they can't drink out of the toilet. A website in England called OnBuy commissioned a study to find out which words dogs "love" the most by monitoring their heart rates. And the #1 thing they want us to say is . . . "Ready for a WALK?" The average dog's heart rate jumped 36% when they heard the word "walkies," which is British slang for walking your dog. Here are the top ten . . . 1. Going for a "walk" . . . 156 beats a minute. A medium-sized dog is normally at 115. 2. "Dinner," "food," or "eat" . . . 152 beats a minute. 3. "Treat" . . . 151 beats. 4. "Get it" . . . 150. 5. "Fetch" . . . 147. 6. "Toy" or "get your toy" . . . 144. 7. "Good boy" or "good girl" . . . 139. 8. "What's THAT?" . . . 135. 9. Their name . . . 128. 10. "Find it" . . . 124. 16% of People Haven't Weighed Themselves Since the Pandemic Started
It's safe to say that EVERYONE spent more time at home throughout the pandemic than probably any other year of their lives. It MIGHT have been harder to get exercise . . . harder to be "active" . . . harder to eat healthy meals . . . and harder to avoid snacking. So the question is: How often did you weigh yourself in quarantine? In a survey that was conducted at roughly the COVID-19 one-year mark, 16% of people claimed they didn't step on a scale at any time during the pandemic. 8% said they did at least once during the pandemic. 15% weighed themselves sometime in the past six months. And 18% have done it in the last month. The most common answer was "in the last couple of days" with 23% of the vote. On the flip-side, 2% of people claim they have NEVER weighed themselves.
Is Tokyo Trying to Keep Olympians from Having Sex . . . By Making Them Sleep on Cardboard Beds?
Every time the Olympics roll around, there are ALWAYS stories about how RANDY the athletes get with each other in the Olympic Village. Well, now there's talk that Olympic officials in Tokyo are trying to curtail the naughtiness . . . by making the athletes sleep on CARDBOARD BEDS. They were designed by a Japanese company called Airweave, and the FRAMES are made from cardboard, while the mattresses are made from plastic fibers. The idea is apparently that the beds will be fine for one person . . . but if two (or MORE) people jump in the sack together, the beds would collapse. American distance runner Paul Chelimo joked about it on Twitter. Quote, "We are moving from an era of BREAKING BAD to BREAKING BED . . . [and] those who pee on the bed are at risk here, once the carton box is wet the bed falls over." But another Olympian, Irish gymnast Rhys Mcclenaghan, posted a video saying that the beds are very sturdy. He even jumped on one to prove that the no-sex thing isn't true. The Olympics Organizing Committee is also distributing condoms as they do for every Olympics . . . but they claim this is NOT to encourage sex in Tokyo, but for the athletes to take home and raise awareness for safe sex in their own countries.
Today's Showbiz Highlights
1. BIZ MARKIE died Friday, most likely due to complications from diabetes. He was 57. Biz is best known for his 1989 hit "Just a Friend". 2. BRITNEY SPEARS unloaded on her family and friends who weren't there for her in some Instagram posts this weekend. And she specifically called out her dad and her sister JAMIE LYNN SPEARS. 3. Gunfire erupted outside Nationals Park during the Washington Nationals / San Diego Padres game Saturday night. It sent fans and players scrambling, because they didn't know where it came from at first. Three people were injured, including a female fan who was outside the stadium.
4. REGINA KING from "Jerry Maguire" says fans still say "Show me the money" to her, thinking it's, quote, "an original thing to say to me." But it doesn't really upset her. She thinks it's cute. 5. A list of classic ice cream scenes from movies includes moments from "It's a Wonderful Life", "The Shining", "My Girl", "The Notebook", and "Wonder Woman". 6. Fox's newest singing competition show called "Alter Ego" comes out this fall. Contestants will perform as avatars in front of ALANIS MORISSETTE, WILL.I.AM, NICK LACHEY, and GRIMES. 7. JENNA FISCHER was replaced on MATT LEBLANC's sitcom "Man with a Plan" because viewers couldn't un-see her as Pam from "The Office". The test audience quote, "didn't believe Pam would marry Joey [from 'Friends']." 8. WILLOW SMITH had her head shaved during a pop punk performance of "Whip My Hair". She said, quote, "I'm always shaving my head at monumental times when things are really changing. And this is definitely one of those moments." 9. GREEN DAY and their coffee company, Oakland Coffee Works, are giving away a trip for two to come to L.A. for their September 3rd show at Dodger Stadium. It's part of the Hella Mega Tour with WEEZER and FALL OUT BOY. 10. TANYA TUCKER had emergency hip replacement surgery last week, and canceled her July shows. She's on track for a "speedy recovery" and promises to keep us posted. 11. Four people died at Michigan's Faster Horses Festival over the weekend. One woman was found on the festival grounds. In a separate incident, three men died from "acute carbon monoxide poisoning" in a travel trailer. 12. JASON ALDEAN is very particular about the cowboy hats he wears on stage. He breaks them in while performing and getting sweaty . . . and that helps the hat "form to his head" so it fits great.